On Monday, November 2nd (2009), I said goodbye to my mom. She was 82 years of age. She died suddenly without any warning. She had been in fairly good health, living at Merrill Gardens Senior Residence, close to my home. She enjoyed playing Bingo, and attended craft classes there and also went to Prime Timers every Thursday to play "Chicken Foot" Dominoes.
So it was quite a shock to loose her. She died because several very large pulmonary embolisms lodged in her pulmonary arteries blocked blood and airflow. I got a call at about 1:00 p.m. from Merrill Gardens that she was being taken by ambulance to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, minutes after she arrived, she had already been put on a ventilator and drugs had been given to induce a coma. I never got to see her awake.
That's the hardest part. She did not know that there was someone there for her. The last time I saw or spoke with her was a few days before when we played our weekly game of Scrabble.
Naturally, I keep thinking of all the things I should have done, but I know God's sovereign will has been done and I rest in that. Still I miss her so much. My heart just sinks when I realize again that she is gone. Death is such a thief.
Meanwhile, there are many changes I want to make immediately in the way I relate to those I love in the here and now. Mainly, I want to stop being so busy and just hug my children, husband and others I love and spend more time with them also. I think about how nice it would have been to give just one more hug to my mom, so I want to take all the opportunities to do that with those that are still living.
Goodbye, Mama. How I miss you.